Happy Thursday Tips day everyone! :) So there have been some things going on around the wedding blog world these past few weeks. I’m not going to get into all of that right now- let’s just say it has to do with some people not liking details of weddings being featured. But I’ve been working on this post for a few weeks now, and I thought now would be the perfect time to post it!
Today I thought I would touch on one of the main reasons I created Every Last Detail- to provide inspiration. Here’s the thing- we’re going to go a little beyond just inspiration and dig a little deeper. Let’s begin, shall we?
I remember when I was looking online for things for my wedding, I was desperately searching for inspiration. Everywhere. Back then (yep in this digital age, we do refer to 2008 as “back then) there weren’t as many places to go for wedding inspiration as there are now. I found it incredibly difficult to find something that really inspired me. But what stands out most to me about my whole wedding planning experience is that I needed inspiration for everything. Centerpieces. Linens. Colors. Dresses. Bouquets. Table numbers. Invitations. I was looking for it all! But you know what? I don’t think I ever found anything that really and truly represented me and my husband well enough. And I think that’s because I didn’t quite grasp the concept of inspiration for my wedding- I thought I had to replicate the things that I liked. The problems with that were a) the things that inspired me weren’t exactly *right* for my classic wedding and b) I have expensive taste. In the end, I wasn’t actually able to implement anything for my wedding that had inspired me. Which leads me to the topic of today’s post- inspiration, not replication.
Photo via ELV Planner, Savoir Faire Weddings
With all of the wedding blogs that are out there now, you have tons and tons of inspiration at your fingertips. But what exactly is the point of finding inspiration for your wedding? Inspiration plays a part in SO many things for a wedding. Colors, style, locations, flowers, favors, bridesmaid dresses… pretty much everything. Chances are, you’re going to need examples of the type of flowers you like, the style of wedding dress you want, and even the type of photography you like. And that’s where blogs come in- to provide you with examples of those things. To inspire you.
Inspiration is a thing. It’s a noun, not just a word to describe something. Let’s get a little more literal here…
Inspiration (noun):
1. an inspiring or animating action or influence: I cannot writepoetry without inspiration.
2. something inspired, as an idea.
3. a result of inspired activity.
4. a thing or person that inspires.
See? I think the most fitting definition is “a thing or person that inspires.” That’s the inspiration we’re all aiming for here in the wedding blog world.
Now that we have our literal interpretation of inspiration, let’s clarify what it doesn’t mean: replication. Sometimes I see things that are replicas of something that’s already been done. Don’t get me wrong- I know better than anyone else that there are only *so many* ways to do something. And I’m 100% FOR details at weddings (duh), and if it means that something has to be replicated, then go for it!
But it’s when I see something at a wedding and you can tell it’s there just for the sake of having it (aka it doesn’t go with the wedding)- that’s when I’m not a fan of details. Examples: scrabble pieces at the wedding of a couple that never plays scrabble. Or vintage furniture for a couple that wouldn’t know a vintage piece of furniture if it fell on top of them. Just because you see something on blogs and in magazines doesn’t mean you have to have it for your own wedding. Popular? Sure. Unique to you? Maybe not.
Don’t get me wrong- I’m not saying to not use the ideas of things that you see on blogs. I’m just encouraging you to make sure the details at your wedding reflect you and your partner. Every wedding is unique in it’s own way because every wedding is for a different couple. No two weddings are ever the same, just like no two people are the same. :)
[A little example: The last wedding I did, the couple was having barbeque as their meal. The venue was going to place bottles of barbeque sauce at the end of the buffet, but I suggested having the bottles on the table and incorporating them into their decor. The groom then suggested to "name" the two types of barbeque sauce after their dogs. They added a label that was designed by their stationer, and they had a personal, unique detail for their wedding! My thought process on details is: if it has to be there, why not make it something unique to you?]
Photo by ELV Photographer, Kay Meyer Photography
So with all of that said, let me say this:
The content that wedding blogs and magazines share is meant for inspiration, not replication.
I know how it feels. You fall in love with all these blogs, and you would love for your own wedding to be featured on one of them because it starts to feel like a sort of “family” to you. So I’m here to tell you that you can be on a blog, but it doesn’t have to look like everything else that you see. Don’t fall into the trap of what’s all over the place. Don’t feel obligated to have mason jars and milk glass at your wedding because that’s what you see everywhere. [And just to clarify, if milk glass and mason jars ARE what you want and ARE right for your wedding, don't feel like you can't have them!] Do what’s right for you. It’s your wedding.
Some tips for making things “your own”: Challenge yourself to take the concept of something that inspires you and figure out a way to do it differently. Combine elements of several different things that have inspired you and create something that is your own. Be inspired by all that is out there, pull from your personalities and your relationship, and then make it yours. And remember that it’s about inspiration, not replication.
Alright, so now tell me- what has inspired you that you’ll be incorporating into your wedding? Do you have things that you like, but you don’t know how to make them your own? Or are you just flat-out clueless about how to make your wedding unique to you and your fiance? Share here in the comments- I want to help you figure out your unique details! :)
Wendy {Weswen Design}:
October 27, 2011 9:44 am
Great post! I have had a few like this on my blog too. Making your wedding "you" is the most important thing. Don't try to fit into a mold that just isn't you because it may be trendy or popular. It's so obviously wrong when that happens. I hope this post helps a lot of people!The Perfect Palette:
October 27, 2011 9:58 am
Great post, Lauren. I really resonate with it as i've been reading all of the posts circulating about this. a wedding gives us the opportunity to show our creativity and imho wedding bloggers should be proud to share the thoughtful details. Very true that the details should have meaning though and that couples shouldn't just copy something they see if it means nothing to them.Tiffany:
October 27, 2011 11:53 am
I'm really digging this post, Lauren. The details are important, but only when they are are representation of the couple. A wedding should't turn into some sort of adolescent'esque' popularity race and I think sometimes brides end up feeling that way. it's tragic really. Good for you for continually sharing good information and NOT focusing your blog on trends that will inevitably pass.Brynn:
October 27, 2011 12:00 pm
Excellent post Lauren. My husband and I wanted a wedding that reflected us and we got it (down to every last detail) if it didn't say something about us as a couple it didn't make the cut. During my planning the biggest wedding "on the blogosphere" was the Hello Lucky wedding featured on Martha Stewart and everywhere else. They had used cut outs of animals on dowels with streamers in a parade from the ceremony to reception. I loved the parade idea and went so far as to start sketching the animals on paper to make stencils for my hubby to cut. About an hour into it though I realized that the animals had no place in our theme and would stick out like a sore thumb. Instead, my husband sewed large banners and pennants and attached them to poles. my family and bridal party carried them in front of me to partially screen me from Mike's view until we were close to the aisle. It was perfect for us, and matched everything else we crafted. I just wish I had better pictures of it.Hedgehogs, Blogs & Chatter » Davello Photography:
October 27, 2011 1:41 pm
[...] a great read that is more related to your wedding planning interests check out this great post on Inspiration vs. Replication over on Every Last Detail. I love this site for the education component alone. I didn’t know [...]Erin Davenport Fine Art Photography:
October 27, 2011 3:35 pm
Lauren, I really appreciate your take on this and that you're sharing it with your readers--THIS is the essence of why weddings are so wonderful, that each is unique to the couple. I was lucky enough to work with a visionary of a floral designer for our 2008 wedding and he transformed my magazine clippings and print-outs (oh, WHERE was Pinterest when we were planning our weddings??) and transformed them into something totally unique that hadn't been done a million times. And I'll tell you, I was so proud of the decor because I knew it was unique and fit our garden theme perfectly. All that to say: thank you! :)Christie O. {Hindsight Bride}:
October 27, 2011 3:37 pm
I remember that voracious appetite for inspiration and information, too! You're a great teacher. Thanks for breaking it down so well!Charley | London Bride:
October 27, 2011 5:24 pm
I'm actually really pleased that The gentleman jonas opened up this discussion today as I have been made aware of so many opinions, all interesting and thought provoking and yours is no exception. I hope this makes couples aware of what is important, i hope it encourages suppliers to keep their couples in mind and i think it will improve us, as bloggers to be a little more aware of how and what we feature in the future.The Friday Fresh Squeeze | Floridian Weddings:
October 28, 2011 7:33 am
[...] sweet tea y'all and enjoy! All of this talk of inspiration for your wedding was summed up nicely by Lauren at Every Last Detail. Make sure to read her nice post she put together about making your wedding "your own" and being [...]Layla Mayville {Simply Savannah Events}:
October 28, 2011 8:46 am
Great advice. I think that people get so wrapped up in what is in style and do too many things at their wedding. I agree that you need to stick to what is your style and what you like and then keep to that one general theme. Don't be wannabes-be yourselfKristine {In Love, Engaged}:
October 29, 2011 11:51 am
I really love this, Lauren. And it's something we need to be continually reminded of in the wedding world. The wedding is about reflecting the couple and THAT'S what makes it unique. I think it goes the other way too--couples who feel like the current trend suits them shouldn't feel bad incorporating those details or worry about being more "original." Do what fits you! Period. Oh, and ps. That comment about not knowing vintage furniture if it fell on them made me laugh out loud. What an image! :)In case you missed it + your weekly roundup « In Love, Engaged:
October 29, 2011 1:46 pm
[...] And Lauren provides some good perspective on inspiration versus replication on Every Last Detail. [...]Lydia:
October 31, 2011 5:31 pm
Amen! Just what brides need to hear!evelyn ball:
November 1, 2011 12:14 am
what is the name of the font used in your banner?Lauren Grove:
November 1, 2011 12:16 am
Hi Evelyn, the name of the font in my logo is Feel Script :)