Happy Thursday everyone! Okay, so this is *technically* a Thursday Tips post, but I’m not really giving TIPS, so I felt weird putting it in front of the post title. BUT, it’s a question that I think just about EVERY brides asks… why do weddings cost so much?! Don’t worry, I asked the same exact question. And I never really figured it out until AFTER my wedding when I started working in the industry, learning the ins and outs and what it really takes for a wedding to happen. Which is a HUGE part of why I started blogging in the first place!
Photo by ELV photographer, BRAUNphotography
So at first, you’re SUPER excited to start planning your wedding, right? And yeah, you know weddings can cost a good chunk of change… but when you start getting the proposals and quotes from people, THAT’S when it really hits you. I think a HUGE part of it is that you don’t really have a good *idea* of what things cost beforehand. Whenever I give brides a ballpark range of what to expect for what something would cost, it’s always so much easier for them. There’s just something about knowing ahead of time, right? Well in regards to pricing, I have something in the works for you all, coming VERY soon! Here’s the thing. Yes, when I was planning my wedding I did always wonder why things cost so much. But I was so focused on the COST that I never really considered or bothered to find out the WHY.
1. Making it happen.
What does it take to make a wedding happen? Wedding professionals. I don’t know what it is about weddings, but for some reason, lots of people don’t consider working in the wedding industry as a “normal” job. Maybe because weddings are such happy and fun times, so it’s hard to think of any “work” being associated with them. Or maybe it’s because there are indeed a few “hobbyists” in the wedding industry providing services to brides. Whatever it is that’s causing this thought process, it’s wrong. [Confession: I was one of those brides who thought this!] Wedding professionals aren’t charging what they charge just for the heck of it. They charge what they charge because it’s their livelihoods. Their career. How they put food on the table for their families. Sure, some charge less and some charge more, but it’s what they think they’re worth and what they need to live their lives. Oh and let’s not forget about experience, which is also a huge factor of wedding professionals’ costs too. And also, their TIME. They work during the week, and then they still have weddings on the weekend. Half the time, they’re not even being paid enough for the time they put in, but it’s what has to be done to make awesome weddings happen.
And wedding professionals don’t charge more because the word “wedding” is attached. This might be true for those who *aren’t* in the wedding industry, but don’t think it’s true for those who are. Let’s kill that myth right here and now.
2. The *Things
Yes, there are *things* that are needed for your wedding. Lots of them. And these *things* are also what “cost so much”. Rentals, purchases, food, alcohol, flowers, linens, etc etc. They’re all *things*, and are a HUGE part of the wedding costs. These *things* usually have to be purchased (or rented) FOR your wedding, so they can be functional AT your wedding. [Get ready for a baking/cooking analogy because that's all I can think of right now...] Think of it this way: You want to make cookies to bring to a party. But before you can make your cookies, you have to buy all of the ingredients. That’s what the *things* for your wedding are. They’re the elements, the ingredients, of your wedding. These things still cost money- they don’t just appear out of thin air. And trust me- you don’t want to buy them yourself. So that’s where wedding professionals come in, because they know/own/make/have access to those *things*.
Via ELV floral designer, FH Weddings & Events
3. Guests.
Yep, the guests. THAT my friends is really why weddings cost so much. I probably say it once a month. The more guests you have, the more money you’ll have to spend. It’s more food, drinks, tables, linens, centerpieces, etc etc. And it’s something that YOU can have control over. If you don’t want to spend much on your wedding- keep it small. That is the key!
4. What YOU Want.
You can be your own worst enemy when it comes to what your wedding costs. I know I was! So a wedding costing “so much” could just be the results of what YOU want! But hey, it’s AWESOME to know what you want! :)
I was actually inspired to write this post because of something I saw on a local photographer’s blog. She had seen a bride’s posting on Craigslist about photographers costing too much money, and she wrote a little response to the bride. It’s SO informative and something that not everyone realizes- definitely go and read it! Oh and after I wrote this whole post, I forgot that I wrote a Thursday Tips similar to this last year. It’s a little bit of a different breakdown though, so be sure to read it next! :)
Okay, so out of all of the things above, which is the most IMPORTANT to you? It doesn’t matter if you’re just starting your planning, halfway through, almost done, or already married- I’m sure one of these things is/was what you absolutely have/had to have! And I would love to hear from those of you who are fairly into your planning or already done- in what area did you spend the most? You know I love your comments, so tell me tell me! :)
Tifani Lyn:
January 26, 2012 8:32 am
When my Fiance and I sat down and he said it will cost about $12,000 for a wedding i about died. We aren't getting any help from our parents so we are doing it all ourselves. I didn't realize how much each thing costs until I started searching! First was our photographer, that was MOST IMPORTANT! I already had my heart set on one that was $2700. I live in Grand Rapids MI & once I started to look for a venue I hated everything unless it was $2000-$4000, Finally I found a barn for $2000. The Dress $1000. The Food $3500. I thought that would be it but you have $300 things popping up everywhere! I've been spending LOTS of time making table runners and decorations myself and hopefully it will be swoon worthy. Thank you for posting this! I know people dont realize how much it costs to be a photographer, or what to cut corners on... my wedding isn't even here yet but there are a few things I would have not spent money on already :)Caroline Creates:
January 26, 2012 11:43 am
I've been dealing with this question a lot lately too about custom invitations. Thank you for such a great post!Jillian Nicole:
January 26, 2012 1:29 pm
This was amazing to read! I love all the posts going around right now that are so informative--a la Rhiannon @ Hey gorgeous and now this little gem! I totally agree with you about the guests. We looked at it as quality over quantity. We knew what we would be able to provide for 200 not so close friends and compared That to what we would be able to provide for 40 Family and friends that are basically family {we also both come from super small families, so that made it way easier} and the decision was a no brainer. We had amazing professionals who made our day gorgeous and one i will never forget! So go Ahead and hire those fabulous vendors and if you're going to cut anything out, start with that second cousin twice removed and that lady from work you feel obligated to invite, but have never really talked to! :)Jenna Stratman:
January 27, 2012 1:24 am
I love this post. It's so important that brides understand WHY the price tag is what it is before handing over the credit card. Knowing where your money for your wedding is going will definitely help you appreciate the services and items you're paying for more.Kristine {In Love, Engaged}:
January 27, 2012 10:46 am
Great, great post, Lauren. It can be really difficult to come to terms wit h the amount of money you're spending on a single day--or the amount of money your family is spending. I know I struggled with feeling guilty for some time about that piece. But you have to remember that any time you're throwing a well thought out and planned party for over 100 guests, you're going to be spending a good chunk of money. And amen to the piece about wedding professionals charging what they need to charge in order to make a living! :)Layla Mayville {Simply Savannah Events}:
January 29, 2012 4:49 pm
You know I'm a regular reader to your blog and really think you hit on something important here! I think the number of guests is a huge effect on your wedding and something you should talk about 1st!!! The size of your wedding is really going to change how much you are going to pay and if you can't afford that or your family doesn't realize adding x,y, and z to the guest list will effect the cost, maybe you need to sit back and re-evaluate. I love how you talked about weighing want you want, knowing what is important to you two is great, maybe it's the food or photography or not having your family do everything, either way deciding on what matters to you TWO will help when starting your budget. Thanks Lauren for the GOOD info! :)