So what exactly ARE these myths that have to do with budget/pricing?

Wedding cost myth #1:  You should barter and/or ask wedding vendors for discounts.

I’ve SEEN this said on blogs and forums before. The only way that a barter miiiiight work is if you own a company that the vendor could SERIOUSLY benefit from. (Like if you’re a floral wholesaler and you barter with a florist, or if you own a camera company and you barter with your photographer.) My question for you is this: do you straight-up ask your server at a restaurant or your doctor for a discount? Or tell them you’ll give them (insert-your-product/job/hobby/whatever-here) in exchange for food or a blood test?

[Personal wedding experience side note: The funny thing about this is that in looking back on planning my own wedding, I seriously asked my dad (who is a dentist) if he would barter veneers with my event decor company. The event decor company of course said no, because nice teeth don't translate into anything beneficial for flowers or rentals. OMG, so embarrassed. I totally forgot about this!]

Wedding cost myth #2: Things are marked up just because they have the word “wedding” in them.

Ah, I was a believer in this one. Wedding dress, bridesmaid dresses, wedding cake, etc etc etc. And I also have seen this one- plus a viral video or two- perpetuated among brides. The truth is, it is what it is- and it’s also what you’re asking for. A venue is perhaps cheaper to rent for a meeting because that meeting is occurring on a Wednesday, not on a Friday or Saturday. And that said meeting isn’t consuming as much food and beverages as a wedding does. Or a wedding cake- it might not be the same price as the cake on the shelf at a bakery, but that’s because that cake is literally just cake and icing and a single sheet. Chances are that wedding cake you’re wanting is probably a few tiers, has all sorts of designs, and requires hours of work. I could go on and on with this one… perhaps I need to just do a whole separate post just for this myth?

Wedding cost myth #3: It’s cheaper if you do it all yourself.

Okay, SOME things are cheaper- but keep in mind that you’re also paying someone to do it FOR you, thus paying them for your time. That’s why it’s cheaper to do it yourself. Just ask yourself how much of your own time you actually want to take up doing things yourself to save a few bucks. (Note: I’m not hating on DIY, just stating something.)

[Personal wedding experience side note: I wanted to make my own menus. Because I was clueless and ordered run-of-the-mill invitations from a big giant book and didn't have someone custom design paper products for me. And I did make my own menus- until about 3 am the night before my wedding. When I had to wake up at 7 am to start getting ready. Missing out on those hours of sleep during my 18 hour wedding day? Um totally would have PAID someone to do them.]

And here are a few more myths that fellow wedding professionals shared with me via my lovely friend Twitter… (names have been withheld juuuuust in case…)

“That you can save a ton of money by having Uncle Charlie photograph the wedding with his new Canon 7D!”

“Spectacular weddings for 150 or more being $5000. Total.”

“You need to spend tons of money on the venue! If you are creative & stick to your wedding style you can have a gorgeous wedding in a reasonably priced venue!”

“(MYTH) Catering over $50/person is a rip off – I can go to Outback for $50/person!”

“You can get a good wedding videographer for $500″

“That invitations should be $1 (myth) yet you pay $4 for a crap card from Hallmark.”

“Rent a linen for $50? I can buy one for that!”

“That beautiful flowers for ceremony and reception are only $1500 ….”

These are all myths, being spread wrongly by inexperienced people. Don’t believe them! They could be true in some cases, but that chance is very slim. Slim meaning that if we’re talking percentage, it’s a single digit. And I will have you know that I myself thought of and/or said every SINGLE one of these things when I was planning my wedding. Now you know, and it’ll save you a lot of heartache, pain, blood, sweat, tears, hemming, hawing, etc etc! If you have any other things that you’ve heard that you might think are myths, put it in the comments! I’ll let you know! :)

When I was planning my wedding, I too was surprised at how much everything was. Trust me, you’re not alone in that. I didn’t have anyone to tell me ahead of time what the norm was for wedding costs, so I wasn’t ever prepared. I was shocked every time I heard a price. I was also very uneducated. The only information that I ever got was from crappy websites that are completely out of touch with the actual wedding industry, and they certainly didn’t teach me about what normal costs were. And that my dear friends, is one of the reasons that I started this blog.

So enough of that, now let’s answer the question “Why does it cost so much?”. There are two different aspects of things that you need for a wedding. Service and product. These two things are priced differently because you’re being provided with two totally different things. Let’s go over what vendors you need for a wedding that are in the service and product categories…

SERVICES

- DJ/Band/Entertainment (sometimes these vendors will also provide lighting, of which those are products)

- Planning/Coordination/Design

- Photography (of which the product is often times a separate cost from the service)

- Cinematography (of which the product is often times a separate cost from the service)

- Officiant

- Hair & Makeup

Photo by Gray Photography, Wedding {here} on ELD

PRODUCTS

- Flowers

- Lighting

- Rentals

- Cake/Sweets

- Catering

- Invitations/Paper products

- Photos and Album from photographer

- Movie/Footage from cinematographer

Photo by Sarah Chen, Wedding {here} on ELD

So some examples for you: my planning services are just a flat fee- no tax, no extra charges, no delivery- because it’s a service. As for something like flowers, that is a product, of which a floral designer has to purchase the flowers for you and THEN spend hours using them to create something beautiful. A floral designer cannot just charge you what it costs to purchase the flowers because they are spending hours and days on your flowers and would be LOSING money if they did so.

Everyone charges differently for their services and products- it’s up to the wedding professional and what they decide to charge. But keep in mind that if you are getting an actual product, the price that you are being quoted is also including in days and hours of preparation and work- essentially a product combined with a service. If you actually saw how much products cost for everything that you need for your wedding, you would be in even more shock. And keep in mind that you are also paying for that person’s experience, expertise, and training, which translates into the quality of the product and service you will be receiving. Then on top of all of that (For some reason people tend to forget this tiny detail), the obvious thing is that the wedding professional you’re dealing with has to make living. Yes- I said it. Wedding professionals need to make a living. They do have pretty sweet jobs, but they too need to eat and live just like you, your parents, your doctors, your servers, etc etc. :)

It’s the cold hard truth, and I’m here to tell it to you! And all of that, lovely ELD readers, is why things for your wedding cost “so much”.

This ELD TV episode, “Venue 101″, was filmed at the Postcard Inn with the catering director there, Jillian. Jillian has been working in the industry for years, and I was able to ask her a couple of questions about venues that I know not everyone knows about. I didn’t know the answers when I was planning my wedding! :) (Note: please ignore my odd-fitting-when-I’m-sitting-down-shirt. I really don’t normally look like I have half a torso.) Alright, let’s do this!

Venue 101 on YouTube

A big thank you to the Postcard Inn and Indie Atlantic Films! Check both of them out- they’re both pretty awesome!

[If you want to catch up on the last episodes, here's Episode 1 on Choosing Your Vendors and Episode 2 with 5 Reasons To Have a Wedding Planner! You can also get all 3 of the episodes on the iTunes ELD TV podcast!]